Dry January Day 7 - Never Give Up

I had trouble getting and staying alcohol-free. My sober journey followed a path littered with a lot of starts, stops, slips, and slides. But finally, I did an exercise that helped make sober stick.

Jan 07, 2025

I know from years of personal experience that challenges like Dry January can lead quickly to disappointment. In January most of us are excited to focus on opportunity, on hopes for what’s to come, and plans on how to get there. But what if you’re struggling with the commitment you made to stay alcohol-free back in the beginning of January? Please don’t give up! This struggle to stay sober, the slips and slides, the stops and starts, are more common than most people think. Living without alcohol in our lives is very hard for many of us, but it is doable.

I’m over 1,000 days sober now and so grateful, almost every single day, that I stopped drinking when I did. I have my share of days of complaints and out of the blue cravings, but no craving will drag me back to the way things used to be. Not drinking never gets old.

If I told you the story of my “sober journey”, it would be an inspiring story of a woman who finally got sober and stayed that way after years of struggling. The story would begin with her feeling lost and resentful, forcing those 12 to 16 beers down each night, caught in a vicious cycle of drinking to numb the pain of drinking. Sound familiar?

That story would continue, once she stopped drinking, to include her battling life-threatening health issues without the “safety net” of alcohol to ease her anxiety and pain. The story would evolve beautifully to highlight her transformation, from lethargic, helpless, and sad, to fit, inspired, and empowered. Rather than tell you that story though, I would prefer to tell you the story of how I rose from my dark rock bottom to where I am today.

But first …

Think about this fact for a minute. If you are a habitual drinker a lot of time goes into planning to drink, thinking about drinking, waiting until you can drink, drinking to oblivion, and then recovering from that. Now that you’ve chosen to get and be AF for an entire day, week, month (maybe more), time is on your side. You have a ton of time now so use it! We just have to be sure to fill the time that we gave to alcohol with life. Fill it with new things, old things, the things you love, and the things that actually do take care of you.

After years of struggle and frustration, in early 2022 I did an exercise that helped make sober stick. I created a clear vision of what could be and recognized and owned what was. My intention was to be able to actually see the possibilities of what my life could be alcohol-free. To show myself whether or not it would be worthwhile. Trust me – it was!

The best way to make something happen is to visualize it and be as specific about the vision as possible.

When I set my intention to stay alcohol-free there’s only so much I could prepare for, so I did what I could. I could start getting out in the fresh air every day even if just for short periods. I could start making specialty drinks that would fuel me rather than put me down for the count. I could stop berating my food choices, my body, and my overall self. My character. I could stop beating myself up.

Questions I gave myself to think about:

What would life be like without alcohol?
What would I be doing differently today if I’m not drinking?
What do I physically look like in that reality?
Who am I surrounding myself with? Who do I want to be surrounding myself with, and how would I make that happen?
What do I do during my downtime and time off?
What activities do I engage in now that I simply couldn’t do when I was drinking?
Where do I work?
What dreams can I finally make come true?
How much money have I saved and what am I doing with it?
What relationships have I repaired?
What bonds and new friendships have I created and with who? What are they like?

Once I answered those questions, then I decided to get even more specific with my vision.

In my non-drinking reality, Am I:

Tending to a new garden? Joining a gym, or a yoga class I’m really enjoying? Am I walking every day and how does it feel to be doing that? Have I learned about meditation and begun the focus to do it? Am I traveling to that faraway place I’ve always dreamed of going to? Did I find that special person who reciprocates building me up and vice versa?

Did I put my passion where my mouth is and start that new career that I’m now passionately involved in? Am I retiring with a new hobby I absolutely love? Have I mended those relationships that were struggling? With who? Have I become part of the solution? Started that renovation I have always dreamed of? How does my place look? And what am I doing in my new place? Am I in the midst of writing that book I always thought about? Is it a bestseller?

Am I healthy? How do I know I’m healthy and how does it feel to be there?

Not all of the things I asked myself were things I wanted to do. It was just a “popcorn” type of place to start a dialogue with myself. Hard pass on joining a gym or writing a book, and it’s way too soon to retire in my case.

The main focus of this exercise was to create a solid vision of myself. To have a clear picture of who I am in an alcohol-free life based on who I want to be. To actually know, and be completely clear on what it looks like, and who I am within it. I believed that the stronger and more detailed the picture I created, the more likely it was to become a reality. And for the most part, It is my reality now.

The picture above contains a book I was given. It is the book that I actually wrote my vision for an alcohol-free life in. Just recently I went through what I’d written in the book and checked off all of the things I was able to make happen during my journey without drinking. We truly can be living our adventure

Join Us in Boom

Day 1 sober, and even day 2, can feel pretty easy with the fresh new year dawning, but when I was on day 3, the only way I was getting through it was by establishing a daily routine. Triggers to drink are going to happen daily, sometimes many times a day, and likely at certain times. If you look carefully, you’ll find the pattern.

In the early days, I had to be inside my home by 3 pm if I wasn’t working. If was working, I had to make sure I had a plan to get home which usually included not being hungry while driving there. So let’s talk about tool- kits…what’s in yours?

Here is my AF ( alcohol-free) toolbox for every single day without alcohol

Stock Your Kitchen Well

Always have food around the house. I have a basic plan for eating all day long so I’m never hungry. Being hungry is a major trigger to drink for me so in the early days I went grocery shopping a lot for all the types of food I thought I might want, even if it felt like I was wasting money. I was wasting money on drinking so enjoying the best food I could afford, wasn’t a big deal.

It’s best to shop early in the day, before lunch, or in the morning on the weekend, when your “willpower” is fresh. In the late afternoon and evening hours, you may be tempted to grab a familiar bottle of “pick-me-up transition fluid”. It’s best to be home and cozy at that time with your cupboards full of good things to eat and satisfying alcohol-free drinks already at hand.

You’ll be amazed at how smoothly those evening hours go without the booze once you give yourself a chance to learn a new routine.

Dry January tips and Tools: Understanding the “H” in HALT ( and the “A”, “L”, and “T” as well)

Have a basic plan for the day

Every day. When I wake up, I have coffee ☕️ and start the day by reading some articles 📚 and posts on Boom and Boozemusings

Dry January tips and Tools– Be open to learning from the experience of Others — Guide to your First Month Sober: Why and How to Quit Drinking

Let Yourself Get Lost in a Book Rather than a Bottle

I love to read, and since images of people drinking so seductively on TV can trigger me in the early days, I made sure I had enough books to read to get me through the week. It fills the dreaded VOID time in the evening, and I looked forward to reading.

I still do this

Come join us during Dry January in our Boom Book Club – We’re reading The Artist Way this month.

You’ll find more reading ideas on the topic of quitting drinking and other topics as well here: Books to Help you Stop Drinking and Fuel Your Sober Momentum

Setting Boundaries is ESSENTIAL

People talk about boundaries all the time. I used to build a wall between myself and others, and between myself and my own feelings, by drinking myself numb. Setting boundaries that allow you to not reach for a drink in trying situations is crucial. So what does it mean to set boundaries when you stop drinking?

Sometimes it means not going to the after-work Happy Hour. Sometimes it means steering clear of drinking buddies for a while unless they are fully in support of your not drinking.

I refused to take phone calls or texts from friends or family after 6 pm that I used to drunk call or text. A mere text coming in from someone like that was a trigger to run to the store and do a repeat.

Also, I refused to “help” anyone after 6 pm.

You may need to ask for a quiet space to chill out in the evening if you live with family members. Sometimes as little as a half-hour break to take a shower or go for a walk or rest and read a bit on your own can do wonders in that evening transition time. Many of us drink to quiet our minds. Meditation works wonders for that too and may be simpler to start than you think.

Dry January tips and Tools: How to set boundaries that work Not My Circus Not My Monkeys and An Open Letter to my Drinking Colleagues, With Love and thoughts on yoga and meditation from a single mom How to stop drinking away the Pain

Sleep Heals

I like to focus on sleep. It’s healing and needed right now.

Sleep when you can, and let go of when you can’t. Lack of sleep in withdrawal is a natural and normal experience for many people. Have a plan to do something during those times so you’re not laying awake in bed anxious about not sleeping. Accept it as part of the process and if TV doesn’t trigger you, or you like to read like me, do that instead. Even at 3 am if you have to

more reading: How to get a Good Nights Sleep When You Stop Drinking

Walk – Swim- Try Yoga

Exercise. I do it every single day. Even if it’s just getting outside to breathe some fresh air, or go for a walk. See if you can throw this in as part of a routine because you’re body is healing ❤️‍🩹 right now and it needs to move. Moving also helps with anxiety.

I incorporated a walking routine before I quit drinking with the idea in mind to walk myself sober. I’m going strong 💪 on 276 days of that challenge so far and it’s really helping. Walking is taking the place of driving to the beer store every night after work.

Maybe think about giving it a go.

And check out Yoga with Adriene – A 30 Day Yoga Journey – It is 100% free. No strings attatched. A great gift from a generous soul.

Dry January tips and Tools: The truth about alcohol and your fitness routine Alcohol and Exercise-Battling Diminishing Returns

Research

I googled all things alcohol-free. I wanted to know what I’d experience and I also needed to know the good things that would come of going sober for a week, a month, a year 📅 even. The whole experience: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. Read everything you can get your hands on about what it’s like to be alcohol-free: What happens to your body when you quit drinking, what happens to your mind, sober success stories, the works! It really helps keep the motivation going and those stories are always full of more inspiration and ideas for your AF toolbox 🧰 😊

Dry January tips and Tools: read more here 4 Views from 6 Months Sober – Life is Not a Problem to be Solved and Sober Milestones – From one month to six years Reflecting on Living Life Free and How Drinking Too Much Alcohol Affects Your Looks and What is the Life Expectancy of an Alcoholic?

Write. Share. Communicate.

I wrote a post in BOOM almost every day. Sometimes I posted twice a day. Make it a priority to write to yourself on Boom for 30 days and see how you feel after. Write ✍️ about anything and everything. I posted about my feelings, I vented when I was angry, I wrote about how badly I wanted to drink, and I wrote about the wonderful moments when I didn’t want to drink. I’m grateful I was able to do that.

Posting is like online journalling to yourself and for yourself. And the best part is people will comment and start a conversation.

We need to be able to have conversations if we are going to stay committed to our goals of staying AF. Whether you isolate or not, this is a social problem that requires a social intervention. So write here. And read, comment, and join the conversation. Speak up! 🗣 every day.

Music Maestro

If you live alone, try having music 🎶 🎼 🎵 playing softly in the background so your place is inviting and you feel your own presence, but also because it makes a quiet home far less lonely. For me it’s smooth jazz. And it’s on constantly still.

Read more here from inside BOOM : Zoo Musings on Music and Hello Sunday Morning!

Grab back ahold today! Commit to starting fresh today. There simply is no special day that is better than another to get started on an alcohol-free life. The present will always be the best day because that’s really all we have to work with. The future hasn’t happened yet and therefore (at present) it’s merely a dream. A hope of things to come.

Join us for a Dry January and beyond.

One-month sober challenges have become a great focus for people who want to step out of the cage of gray-area drinking and try life alcohol-free.

In our BOOM Rethink the Drink Community we host a month-long alcohol-free inspiration challenge 12 times a year! Come check us out

www.BoomRethinktheDrink.com

I hope you don’t give up on your plans, your dreams, the possibilities of an alcohol free future. The possibilities and wonderment are endless now that I don’t drink alcohol anymore.

Time is on my side. And I can spend it any way I please now.

Boozemusings’s Substack